A personal story of mental illness

Mental health conditions can evolve throughout life just like our understanding of them. Finding the right treatment, the right diagnosis, and understanding the unique underlying factors in our own lives can be key to recovery.

In this personal story, MQ supporter Mike Oglesbee kindly shares how examining his own life and upbringing helped him progress.

destructive survival

Growing up in a small town with few resources, I struggled on the path of life. I developed anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and an addiction to pulling my hair called trichotillomania as a teenager. I was in a constant battle with fear.

While some in similar positions shut down, isolate themselves from the world, and do everything possible to become invisible, I chose a more destructive path of rebellion. I became loud with both my words and my actions. I didn’t feel heard so I resorted to getting into trouble and causing trouble for those around me.

By the time I was a teenager, I had already been kicked out of school three times. I had a reputation for being a troublemaker, and because of my behavior, I had become one of those kids that parents warned other kids about. I often say that I was so wrong because I was so wrong.

Unmet needs

It’s not that I grew up in a bad home, neighborhood, or situation. My mother worked at a bank in the city an hour away, which caused her to get home around 6 pm. My father worked rotating 12-hour shifts in a factory almost seven days a week to make sure we always had what we needed.

Although they did their best, I was missing something. I did not receive the emotional support I needed to grow and develop mentally and emotionally in a healthy way. They didn’t know how to meet my needs or even that they weren’t met. With three children, they went out of their way to give each of us what they thought we needed.

Growing up in an environment that couldn’t meet my specific needs, I didn’t learn how to meet them. I just bottled up my emotions because I didn’t know how to deal with them. This did not get rid of them. Instead, it made me suffer even more. I lashed out more to overcompensate for the discomfort I was feeling.

Value and Value

While I have heard that time heals all wounds, this was not the case for me. My difficulties followed me into adulthood, where I experienced many relationship struggles and low self-esteem. I made a lot of bad decisions, but I gained a great work ethic from watching my father, which allowed me to overcompensate by becoming a workaholic.

Being a workaholic became another addiction that I used to cover up my inadequacies. Although I excelled in my performance, I felt like it was never enough. I felt like it was never enough. In my opinion, nothing was ever enough to lift me higher than my low self-esteem, but I continued to seek higher and loftier goals.

And while I accomplished many great things, such as having dinner with the President of the United States, visiting countries around the world, being voted president of a military rodeo association, and being the best at my job, none of it mattered. nor did I fully accept my achievements despite constantly striving for them.

I needed them because they would make me worthwhile and valuable. I trusted my external results to validate and magnify my value. But they never did. It was just another empty well that I was trying to quench my thirst from.

Perceptions of change can change

In my late twenties and early thirties, I discovered hypnotherapy and NLP while attending college for my BA in Psychology. I have always been fascinated by the mind and the possibilities of what we can achieve in specific states of mind. I began attending certification programs in the hope that these tools would finally lead me to overcome the debilitating mental health issues that had robbed me of my peace throughout my life.

At first, they helped a little. My life didn’t magically change, but it started to. The biggest mistake I made when interacting with these mods was thinking they would switch me. I thought that they would make me a different person and that I could finally live the way I wanted. I soon realized that I was quite naive.

After practicing with these modalities, I came to the attention of a local chiropractor and oncologist, who invited me to work with their clientele. Like many in the field of psychology, I thought I could help myself by helping others. It was then that my company, Maximized Mind Hypnotherapy & Coaching, was born.

complex mental illness

One would think that someone in my position would not have problems like anxiety, depression, OCD or other mental illnesses. After all, how could I help others if I couldn’t even help myself? But I was able to help others significantly change their lives even though I hadn’t done it entirely myself.

As I have worked with others over the years, I have been able to devise strategies and tools to help my clientele as well as myself. I learned a lot about healing mental illness that when applied works. The biggest lesson I learned was self-discipline.

It is possible to manage many mental illnesses, but not without self-discipline. It took me years of work on myself to finally release my anxieties, OCD, and depression. I had to learn to introspect, find the core causes of my struggles, and work to replace them. I’m not talking about where they started, but where they came from today. The answer was my core identity.

The unexamined life

Growing up without my needs being met taught me a lot about myself. He taught me that I was not valuable enough, good enough, nor did I deserve to be listened to and validated. When I discovered these beliefs and stories at the core of my identity, I began working to replace them.

I decided to work on myself for as long as it takes to change my programs and beliefs. It took me years to change them because they were so deeply woven into the fabric of my being, but I finally did! That was several years ago, and there are still many things I would like to change, but I can finally live a life that I enjoy and love.

Now, I have the opportunity to teach valuable skills to help others overcome their struggles and enter a life they can fall in love with. It is not easy to change your life. Strange as it may seem, although most people want their lives to change, most are not willing to change it.

Humans seek familiarity

People are comfortable with the familiarity of the chaos that surrounds them. They learn to function on it, which becomes an addiction. However, learning to let go is a skill that can lead to greater success and happiness. Life is hard. It’s not easy being human, even for those without mental health issues.

Managing mental health issues is a journey that requires hard work, consistency, and self-discipline from its participants. It requires knowledge and study. I often say that life is like a university and there is only one subject for you to learn; yourself. You can only do this by studying yourself and taking time for introspection. Once you do this, a better life without debilitating mental health issues may also be possible for you.

Thanks to Mike for the generosity of sharing.

For some, managing mental illness, rather than living without it, is a valid goal. All mental illnesses are treatable and all mental illnesses make sense. Help is available for everyone affected by mental illness. If you feel you need help, it’s available here.