Is it Danger or Discomfort? Tips for Handling Panic!

First, acknowledge this. Panic is not what you think it is. It’s not an attack at all, and that’s a misleading name for it. We keep the name, but we recognize that it is not something that attacks you. It is you having an internal fear reaction: your heart rate changes, your muscles tense, your stomach feels sick, you have terrifying thoughts of calamity, etc. It’s a reaction, scary, even when you don’t know what you’re reacting to.

ask yourself:

Is there a clear and present danger threatening me now, or am I just imagining one?

If you are in danger, protect yourself. But if you really were being threatened, by a dog, a fire, or a thief, you wouldn’t be reading this! You would already be fighting or fleeing, or crying out for help.

If you’re still standing here in a panic, worrying and wondering what to do, and feeling self-conscious about looking scared, it’s usually because there’s no immediate threat. It’s a false alarm. Panic is a false alarm.

ask yourself:

Is it danger or discomfort?

If I were in actual physical danger, not just afraid of a “what if?” thought or a racing heart, but in the face of a physical threat, you would already be protecting yourself. If there was a dog attacking you or a car turning in your direction, you probably wouldn’t realize you were afraid. You would be too busy protecting yourself, kicking the dog, or walking away from the car. We don’t think much when faced with a real emergency, we are too busy protecting ourselves!

But if, instead, you’re in a restaurant or a mall with the same scary thoughts you’ve had many times before, your mind races with thoughts of loss of control, and there’s no threat in front of you to hit. or running away, then what you feel is probably discomfort rather than danger. Discomfort is a soft word, I know, but that’s how panic tricks you. You feel discomfort and treat it as a danger.

What is good for danger? If you are in danger, protect yourself with the traditional fight, flight or freeze option. Fight, if he seems weaker than you. Run, if it seems slower. And if he looks stronger and faster than you, then freeze and hope he doesn’t look so good. That’s all we’ve got for danger!

What is good for discomfort? Hang out with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings and give them time to go away. Claire Weeks described this as “floating”. Don’t make a strong response, just hang out and give it time to pass.

Examine your usual responses to panic.

People often want to run away and hide their problems from others. Realizing this can help you decide what kind of problem you are currently facing. If you were really having a heart attack, you wouldn’t be quietly leaving the party, trying to keep it a secret, you’d be calling for help, probably yelling! If she was really about to pass out, she wouldn’t be running to the parking lot: she’d stay inside where it’s safe and sit down!

Do these things:

Acknowledge and accept the fact that you are temporarily afraid. You don’t need to resist or oppose fear because it will fade away no matter what you do. Have you ever had a panic attack that didn’t end? No, and no one else has!

Your job is not to make the attack end. Your job is to wait for it to finish.

Wait and watch. Stay where you are and wait for the panic to subside. If you panic while you have a job to do (driving a car or giving a presentation), continue to do your job to the best of your ability. If you are in a more passive role, sitting in a waiting room or walking through a mall, stay where you are and observe your experience. Take notes of the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations you experience, and write them down.

You might think that you should distract yourself from the panic symptoms. But that’s too much like fighting fear, and it usually produces bad results.

Consider this. If I am motivated to distract myself from a problem, what does that tell me about the problem?

He tells me it’s not an emergency. If you were in a bank during an armed robbery, would you balance your checkbook to distract yourself from the gunshots? Probably not! You’d be too busy running out of there!

AND:

If you feel short of breath or tight in your chest, breathe out slowly. Drop your shoulders a bit and sigh, the way you might sigh if someone said something really upsetting to you. If you feel short of breath and want to breathe more comfortably, this will help you inhale more comfortably. The sigh is a small, slow exhalation. Don’t start with an inhalation, start with a sigh.

Panic is a solvable problem! There is much more to learn about how to help yourself with panic. Look for methods that help you work with your panic symptoms, rather than counter them. You will find more information at https://www.anxietycoach.com